Gave My Shirt Away
August 5, 2011
One of those dreams where you really just don’t want it to end because it feels so real and so happy.
I was on vacation, visiting my family on the east coast somewhere. Maybe D.C. but felt more suburban. Odd that a good dream would involve them as they normally stress me tons. One of my friends/crushes from h.s. was there for some reason, KG. KG was hanging out with us, shopping dinner etc. We started to hit it off. We both kept looking for reasons to see each other again. At one point it was cold out and I gave her my button down plaid JCrew shirt. When we said our final goodbye I noticed she was still wearing it and said nothing, hoping it would give me an excuse to visit again. My mother dropped us all off at some kind of gas station / convenience store. Then everyone was gone except my brother. My brother and I went back into wherever we were staying to start packing. I started getting anxious that KG had not called or texted to say goodbye. Part of what made this feel real is that I was, in the dream, remembering something a counselor had told me recently, about the separation I seem to force often between what I think I should do and what I think I want to do. In the course of it I noticed I had three voice mails. I eagerly started to listen to them. The first was my mom, who had gotten lost on her way home and needed us to call her to help her find her way. I shouted to my brother to call her so I could listen to the rest of my voicemails, which I feared now would all be from my mom. My brother mumbled some response. The second and third voicemails were also from my mom, but while I was listening to the third I actually received a call from KG, who I initially assumed was calling about my shirt, but was actually calling to make plans to go shopping before my flight. I was happy. Reciprocation is the best part of crushes, tho this one was sorta 2 decades late. Anyways, the dream started to end when I was again asking my brother to call my mom. I woke up wanting to go back into the dream, trying, and failing.
